The Hartlepool Monkey
(A true story - so they say ...)

It happened up in Hartlepool about the time of France,

The Emperor Napoleon was leading us a dance;

When up along the swell came a British man o'war,

The Captain's own pet monkey got washed up on the shore.

Chorus

Young folks, old folks, everyone and each,

Come and see the Frenchie who's landed on the beach,

He's got long arms, a great long tail and he's covered all in hair

We think that he's a spy so we'll hang him in the square.

Well the Lord Mayor of Hartlepool was walking down the shore

When he saw this funny thing that he'd never seen before

A-sitting in the sand was a little hairy man

A-clutching a banana in his little hairy hand.

Chorus

Well, the Lord Mayor fetched the town clerk who hurried to the shore

There he found this little man where he had been before

A crowd had gathered round him cos he was the strangest sight

Since the sporting club caught fire the previous Friday night.

Chorus

Now Constable Parsons he hurried to the scene

He viewed the situation and he licked his pencil clean

Said "Causing a disturbance is a serious hoffence

and everything you say will go down in evidence."

Chorus

Well when this little man spoke a funny thing was heard,

And Constable Parsons couldn't understand a word,

The reason for his puzzlement was very plain to see

The man he was a foreigner from far across the sea.

Chorus

So they hung this little Frenchie from the gallows in the town,

With a rope around his neck and his tail all hanging down.

As a warning to Napoleon to make himself a rule

And not to send his little hairy spies to dear old Hartlepool.